I think the martini is a very pretentious drink. It seems like a lot to make a drink. It needs a specific gin or vodka. Then a specific mixer or two to make it tasty. And other things added to it. And finally specific directions for how all of these items are mixed together. (Remember the longer the single drink order, the bigger the asshole who is ordering it.) Here is my theory on mixer. Mixers are the “ketchup” of the alcohol world. The more “ketchup” you need to shittier the “meal”. I like it simple. Glass, ice, bourbon, pour, serve. Or open bottle cap on beer bottle and pour into me. It is simple and to the point. But “simple” is not sophistication which is in turn being “complex”. “Complex” is just a way of trying to be more than it really is. A false sense of being a better class of a person. The truth is no matter what it is; it is just a drink.

I have been thinking about how people put forth their own simplicities or complexities. I have been observing how people act. Don’t going thinking that this creepy. I have been trying to write “believable” characters. It is not always what they say but how they move about that makes them real. The following is my guess. And it is open to debate. If you want to have one.

People are a combination of a lot of things that are simple and complex. I think people project one to hide the other. The more they put one forth the more they are trying to disguise the other.

Just look at how people dress. Just think about the judgments you make on how people dress. We all make judgments based on the outward appearances. It is natural. But you need to be aware of it. And that it could contain a fair amount of bullshit. I know because I am very guilty of it. Every day. I work in an industrial complex that is next to an office building. Every morning, my morning routine involves drinking my cup of coffee and watching the people walking into that office building. I watch how they look. I watch their mannerisms. I watch how people walk about and interact with others around them. I am also watching from a window that is five stories up and a few hundred feet away. So my theories are just that. Without any direct interaction with these people my theories are subjective to my own thoughts. So I do realize there is a real bullshit factor built in. So be it. But I am aware of it. I also know I am a bit of voyeur here. Minus the perverted thoughts. I will save those for later when it is a little more appropriate. Maybe.  Maybe not. I just want to say I do not get how women are able to walk in high heels. But thankfully they do.

The next part is personal clothing fashion. I need to state the very obvious. I have no fashion sense what so ever. I know that at my age I should have a better clue on it that I really do. I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. I have been wearing the same leather jacket for about thirteen year now. It is just “simple”. It is a style that has never real gone completely out of style. But at times it makes people look at me with a sense of suspicion. I just found a simple easy way to dress. Simple and very easy to maintain. Especially on laundry day when it can all go in one load for the most part. After all of these years, I am an expert at it. I have heard the following observation many times. People tell me this. “You are going to have to improve your fashion sense if you are ever going to have a chance to have a real girlfriend.”  I will not start with the counter argument of reality of that happening here. It involves a discussion on the aerodynamics of a snowball, a very warm climate and Las Vegas style odds. After all of these years, I am an expert at it. I have heard the following observation many times. People tell me this. “You are going to have to improve your fashion sense if you are ever going to have a chance to have a real girlfriend.”  I will not start with the counter argument of reality here. It would involve a discussion on the aerodynamics of a snowball, a very warm climate and Las Vegas style odds. I just find it hard to believe that I have to adopt a lifestyle or fashion sense that I cannot afford to have in the first place. And I would have no idea of how to maintain it even if I could afford it. Or even desire to have it in the first place. In order to have a girlfriend that connect with so that one day I can show the real me. This to me seems a lot more “complex” than it should be. And this thought sets off my bullshit detector. (It does works some times. Like the roulette wheel or a local weather forecast. Just call me “Lucky” when it does.) I am the WYSIWYG type. It is that easy. It is just that “simple”. I am very aware of that “color me very unimpressed” look from women. I anticipate it. I am not completely clueless on this matter. Just from time to time I am a bit stupid on it.

There are few other things I have noticed about how people act. The first thing I have noticed is people fear losing connection to others. However, they seem to not want to communicate with those directly around them. It seems like they are in the world but separated from it at the same time. There is nothing that symbolizes this better than the cell phone. Let me state for the record that I do not own one. I know it is hard to believe. It is easier than you think not to have one. I watch people who have one walk about as if they are in a bubble. They should be wearing protective padding. It would be more useful that their theoretical bubble they think they are in. Especially when walking out in front of traffic. It is like watching a NASCAR race. All you are doing is waiting for the big crash. It leads to a lot of screaming on both ends. I think that the cell phone is way of putting forth that image that they are a “complex” person. And being a “complex” person is some way of making you appear to be important. I knew a person who filled vending machines. He carried his cell phone with him at all times. It was so work can get a hold of him at anytime. I thought he had a warped view of his job. I understand the cell phone for while he was out on his route. However, at midnight in a bar it seemed to me a bit ridiculous. But then again I do not fully understand the danger of a vending machine being out salt and vinegar potato chips. The horror that they may have to settle for barbeque chips instead. I guess the starving kids in Africa cannot fully grasp the lack of selection and its implications. It is a real bitch. I guess. But let me get back on topic here.  A “complex” person is busy. They have to be available in a heartbeat to answer those tough questions. They must make those important decisions in heartbeat. The fact that the human race was able to accomplish many things without this technology is irrelevant. We somehow just got “lucky” to make through to now.  However, these are the same people who complain they are constantly on the phone. And they want to simply some way. But the fear is they will no longer be seen as being “complex”. I myself have one telephone number with an answering machine. However, they stay at home. I think is “simple”. One person. One phone number. One answering machine. But in being so “simple” I am viewed as being unimportant. Inconsequential. Just because I am not instantly available.  Though I just realized having this problem saved me from the issues those “complex” people bitch about.

 I was going to go into how people show their “complexities” by the car they drive. But they do this by being on the cell phone. Plus the fact is it does matter really what you drive. They are a real pain in the ass to own no matter how you look at it. The cost has no factor in the end on the easy of ownership. There just is any such thing as “ease” when it comes to an automobile.

This might not be the right term here. So bear with me. There is a downfall to being seen as being “simple”. If people think you are simple then technically you are a moron. They tend to talk to you like you really are one. The real reason is they feel some sense of superiority. Especially, if they portray themselves as being “complex”.  This is a variation on the, “My shit don’t stink” theory. Sadly, in this life I have found that there are people who fully buy into that theory. This happens to me more often than one thinks it would. I may look “simple”. But behind I am a bit “complex”. There is a lot of thought going on in my head. I know most of what I do know is only useful for the “Why the Fuck do you know that?” version of Trivial Pursuit game. If you read as many books, watched as many movies or searched the Internet as much as I do then you would know some really cool shit too. Try keeping the music collection of over 3000 CD’s and cassettes in your mind organized somehow. It’s not that easy. Deep down it is a bit “complex”. It does make things interesting when I get two, four or twenty songs “stuck in my head.” Curiosity may have killed the cat. But it keeps me searching.  This may be a pain in the ass at times. But deep down I enjoy blowing the shit out of other people’s minds when I let loose what I know. They never see it coming. They just look at the “cover” and wonder why what is under just did not match at all. (Side Note: It can be a real pain in the ass when it comes to face to face customer service. And even worse, talking to India is no prize either.)

I guess in the end the “book cover” and the “book’ itself are not supposed to match up. Well, except in pornography. I don’t know why. That is how people are. Just like those “As Seen on TV” ads are for products that will disappoint you when you get them home. It’s just how it goes.  We all have to make snap judgments based on the “book cover” everyday. It is how we make through the day. How we decide who we should spend time on. From time to time, it can be an interesting chance to read “the book.” According to a news report 1 out 4 Americans have not read a book in the last year. I suspect when it comes to “reading” other people the numbers are even worse.